By Susan Sherer-Vincent, LCSW, LMFT
With pleasant thoughts of food, family and decoration, the holidays can be a source of joy for many people. For others this time of year can be associated with anxiety, depression, and stress. It is easy to get overwhelmed with an accumulation of tasks like gift buying and wrapping, writing and mailing cards, traveling, parties, cooking, and bills. If the Holidays are stressful for you, you’re not alone. People already predisposition to stress can find themselves feeling blue and more stressed than usual at this time of year.
So what can we do? We suggest you plan for stress. When stress has a hold of you, it is hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if there is a history of the holidays being difficult for you.
The good news is you don’t have to let stress ruin your holidays; there are some practical steps you can take to help manage these negative emotions. You can begin by developing a simple approach that helps you set realistic goals. You may even enjoy the holidays more than you thought you would.
Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression:
1. Set realistic expectations. No holiday celebration is perfect; view inevitable missteps as opportunities to demonstrate flexibility and resilience. Create a realistic budget and remind your children that the holidays aren’t about expensive gifts. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart; your children will remember the time you spent with them.
2. Take time for yourself. Taking care of yourself helps you to take better care of others in your life. So, eat healthy. Avoid the sweets as much as possible. We sacrifice our exercise routines when we’re overwhelmed, but exercise is the best investment of your time. Don’t overscheduled yourself. Pick and choose the holiday functions and get plenty of sleep. By slowing down, you may find more energy to accomplish your holiday goals.
3. Remember what’s important. Commercialism can overshadow the true sentiment of the holiday season. When your holiday expense list in running longer than your monthly budget, scale back. Remind yourself that family, friends, and the relationships in your life are what matter most.
4. Seek support. Talk about stress related to the holidays with your friends and family. Getting things out in the open can help you navigate your feelings and work toward a solution. Ask for help; involve your kids, spouse, family and friends. If you to continue to feel overwhelmed, consider talking with a professional to help you develop coping strategies and better manage your stress.
5. Pick names instead of buying gifts for everyone. This will save money and time. Shop online or from catalogues and buy stamps on line.
6. Let go when you can. Look at your list of stressors and determine the ones you have no control over. Then consider how much emotional energy you want to invest in these aspects of your life. This might include your aging parents, the economy, that your side of the family that has a history of conflict.
7. Act out of love. Remember when you think, “I should do this.” This is just guilt and it isn’t healthy to act out of guilt.
8. Anticipate consequences. Lots of things sound like fun in December, but don’t do anything you will regret in January, like piling up extra bills to pay off.
When you recognize stress and take steps to reduce it, you can have a wonderful holiday season. Remember the holidays will pass and you will survive. Following these steps can even help you take a deep breath, slow down a bit, and enjoy the holidays.
