By Julie T. Steck, Ph.D., HSPP
After 35 years of working with children, teens, and families, I have come to realize that organizational skills are the result of both heredity and environment. Some children and families are inherently organized. Their homes are clean and orderly, the children’s lockers are neat, homework is completed promptly AND turned in, and family dinners start on time. Other families are not as well organized. Those families have great intentions but find it difficult to stay with a schedule. They want to be on time for the bus, sports practices, and church/synagogue but struggle with follow through. Some children in organized families are disorganized but learn how to follow routines. Some children in less organized homes have better internal organization and develop their own coping strategies. But all children seem to benefit from external help in developing organizational strategies. Organization relies on executive functioning, a set of cognitive abilities that continue to develop as adolescents grow into adulthood. Dr. Thomas Brown is a Yale University research who has written a great deal about executive functioning. You can find an excellent, non-technical overview of this concept on his website:
http://www.drthomasebrown.com/pdfs/Executive_Functions_by_Thomas_Brown.pdf
So what can we do to help a child or teen develop better organizational skills? Here are some concrete steps parents (and teachers) can take:
- Organize yourself. Before you are able to organize your child, you will need to provide an external example through your own organization. Children both sense and model disorganization. They need for their parents to be organized and remind them about upcoming events, complete forms that need to be turned in for school and extra-curricular activities, provide transportation, and show up for school events. One way to organize yourself is to think before you say, “Yes.” Put less on your plate so that you are able to meet your own needs and those of your child/children. Read Beth Waite’s article in this issue for further ideas and software tips.
- Organize the family. Families are best organized by having predictable schedules that help the children – and adults – organize their time. Schedule a consistent time for waking in the morning. Set the alarm so that there is enough time for getting up, dressing, eating breakfast, and dealing with any last minute crises such as forgotten homework, a car that won’t start, a missed bus, or a pair of jeans that are not clean. Have dinner as a family, even if some family members have other commitments. Set a time when lights are turned out, electronic devices are closed down, and bedtime is expected. Teenagers won’t always comply with your bedtime but at least they know there is an expectation. Exposure to light late at night (such as the glow emanating from a computer screen) delays the natural increase in our body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that helps us fall asleep (http://www.sleepreviewmag.com/issues/articles/2002-05_04.asp).
- Organize your child or teen. With the advent of technology, we should be expecting our youth to utilize electronic organizational strategies. Paper-based notebooks are quickly becoming a thing of the past. Kids often misplace assignment notebooks but are less likely to lose an iTouch or cell phone. Find an electronic option that works for you and your family. E-mail or text your child reminders. When he/she is ready, help your child program his/her own reminders to promote independent organizational skills. Help your child or teen set up a schedule on a computer and insist that they look at it nightly. Set up a regular time each day to get on your child’s school communication system and check their grades, assignments, and upcoming expectations. We need to meet this new generation of ‘digital natives’ in their own electronic world. They won’t be coming back to our world any time soon!
In summary, the best ways to help your child with organization are to keep the old family traditions of consistent meal times, bed times and family times intact. At the same time, utilize new technologies to provide external organizational supports that used to be provided by wind-up alarm clocks, Princess wall phones, and assignment notebooks. Combine the best of the good old days with organizational tools in the new millennium.
